Four Agreements Domestication
By : Nicole -
One day, we`ll become our own servants. We don`t even need authority to threaten or punish us. Our belief system – the book of law – governs our minds. The book of law is made up of all the agreements that we have accepted as truth. Despite its limitations, the book of law gives us the feeling of being safe. It is our understanding of how the world works, and it represents order in a world of chaos. We may not have chosen those agreements, but we have approved them. And they don`t change so easily – defying our own beliefs requires courage. In Part 2 of this two-part video, we learn something about the book of the law that governs our mind and the inner judge that makes us suffer because we never compare ourselves to our “image of perfection.” All our normal tendencies are lost in the domestication process, and we begin to look for what we have lost. We seek freedom because we are no longer free; we seek happiness because we are no longer happy; We seek beauty because we no longer believe that we are beautiful. What we are looking for is our “me.” With practice, the four agreements help us restore our “authentic self” and this is the greatest gift we can make ourselves. When we see that it is our chords that dominate our own lives and that we do not love the dream of our lives, we must change the chords.
If you want to lead a life of joy and accomplishment, you must find the courage to break the agreements that are based on fear and that claim your personal power. Agreements that come from fear require us to expend a lot of energy, but the agreements that come from love help us to save energy and even to produce energy. Domestication is so strong that at some point in our lives we no longer need anyone to domesticate ourselves. We don`t need mom, dad, school or church to domesticate. We are so well trained that we are our own concierge. We`re an autodomed animal. In this process, we become someone other than our natural self. We lose our normal congenital tendencies in this domestication process. For this reason, adults behave differently from children — adults may be more effective and productive, but also less cheerful, curious and free. As children, we are trained like dogs by this process of domestication. We are rewarded for doing what Mom and Dad expect of us. We will be punished if we break the rules.
We fear punishment, but we fear being rejected and not good enough. The four agreements© were published in 1997 and have sold about 9 million times. He has been on the New York Times bestseller list for nearly a decade. Everything we do is based on agreements we have made – agreements with ourselves, with other people, with God, with life. But the most important agreements are those we make with ourselves. If we accept an agreement, we believe it unconditionally. Our belief systems and personalities are made up of thousands of these small agreements. We surrender to these convictions.
In the first part of this 2-part video, we learn how the “domestication” of men and how all the rules and values of our family and society are imposed on us by a system of punishment and reward. As young children, our true nature is to love and be happy, to explore and enjoy life; We are absolutely authentic. But then we learn to be what others think we should, and because it`s not normal that we are who we are, we start pretending we`re not what we`re not. When we are teenagers, we have learned to judge ourselves, to punish ourselves and to reward ourselves after agreements that we have never chosen.